Friday, December 24, 2004

Merry Christmas Cheer for the War on Terror

My favorite line comes from George W. Bush (read on):

A school teacher was arrested at New York's Kennedy Airport yesterday. An individual, later discovered to be a school teacher, was arrested trying to board a holiday flight while in possession of a ruler, protractor, set square, slide rule, and calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft, said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are three sides to every triangle.'"

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes to count on."

Please, Republicans and Ditto-heads, don't write angry letters. This is a joke (unless you've traveled by plane lately)!

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